I heard that we should not call someone by あなた (anata : you). Why and what can we do instead?
Pronouns in Japanese
There are so many pronouns in Japanese.
For example,
私、あたし、僕、俺、自分、オイラ、オラ、あっし, etc
all signifie “Me“.
It depends on how we want to express ourselves in society and also what a community requires of us.
I, WE
So for the next lessons which follow, we will use
わたし
Watashi
for “Me” because it is rather neutral and is used by both genders, which is standard when working in Japan.
And
わたしたち
Watashi tachi
for “Us”.
You
If you look in your dictionary for “you” in Japanese, あなた (anata) is the most likely word you will find. But it is not recommended.
This is because, except in special cases, we avoid using pronouns to refer to someone in Japanese. It even risks being considered rude.
Instead, I recommend the following 3 options.
1- Family name + さん
2- Family name + title
3- Title
For example, if your counterpart is the president of your company (社長 : syachou) and its name is 田中 (Tanaka),
1- Family name + さん : 田中さん (Tanaka san : Mr/Mrs. Tanaka)
2- Family name + title : 田中社長 (Tanaka shachou : President Tanaka)
3- Title : 社長 (Shachou : Mr(Mrs.) President)
But when you address your teacher, only following cases are possible,
2- Family name + title : 田中先生 (Tanaka sensei : Teacher Tanaka)
3- Title : 先生 (sensei : teacher)
So, we cannot address our teacher with さん (san).
When it comes to the plural form of “YOU”, like we did for “US”, we add たち.
1- Family name + さん : 田中さんたち (Tanaka san tachi : Mr/Mrs. Tanaka and others)
2- Family name + title : 田中社長たち (Tanaka shachou tachi : President Tanaka and ohers)
3- Title : 社長たち (Shachou tachi : Mr(Mrs.) President and others)
He, She, They
There are words like 彼 (kare) and 彼女 (kanjo) that mean “he” and “she”.
But generally they are used for another meaning, “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”.
So, instead of 彼 (kare) and 彼女 (kanojo), we generally use
1- Family name + さん : 田中さん (Tanaka san : Mr/Mrs. Tanaka)
2- Family name + title : 田中社長 (Tanaka shachou : President Tanaka)
3- Title : 社長 (Shachou : Mr(Mrs.) President)
*add たち (tachi) for the plural case
just like we have seen for “You”.
A bit confusing?
For instance,
田中さん (Tanaka san) and the listener are the same person : “YOU”
田中さん (Tanaka san) and the listener are the different person and I’m talking about him/her : “He/She”
Omission
Pronouns or other ways of referring to someone are often omitted when it is clear:
- who is speaking
- speaking to whom
- talking about whom
Easy tips to study Japanese :
- Japanese basics (N5-N3) : Nouns in Japanese
- Japanese basics (N5-N3) : Verbs in Japanese
- Japanese basics (N5-N3) : Adjectives in Japanese
- Japanese basics (N5-N3) : Punctuation in Japanese
- Japanese basics (N5-N3) : Word Order
- Japanese basics (N5-N3) : Politeness
- Japanese basics (N5-N3) – 7 rules to pay attention to
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